Aishiteru
by M i s s. CANDYcancer
Summary: You can call me Possesive, Sadistic, Cruel. But I'm not. I'm in hate. I'm in love. As much as I have softened you, Inuyasha, you have hardened me. You've twisted me and you ask why I hate you.


Soru: Okay, I can explain... I was on Kakera no Ai, and I was looking through the music video's and I stumbled across Kasumi's I hate everything about you video. It was full of clips of Inuyasha and Kagome fighting. normally, let's face it. i really just don't like Three Day's Grace. They're way too predictable. But I started listening to this song with the music video and I thought... perfect! 

So here it is. You may take this as a KagomeInuyasha or you may take this as an Anti- KagomeInuyasha. Either way I hope you like it.

No flames.

I don't own Inuyasha cuz if I did Kagome and Inuyasha would turn out like this and then Sango and Inu-kun would get together...

Sorry about the spelling and grammer eorros my check is down. -tear-

REVIEW!!!!

Oh and Thank you for the idea Kasumi-sama!!!!!

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Kagome sat on the cliffs edge staring down at the rushing water. The water symbollized her emtions, fast, full of rage. Deadly, they could pull you under. You would drown in rage, you would suffocate until you could no longer see through you bloodshot eyes. The world would become a huge blur as the anger boils up inside of you. That was how she felt, ever since she met him...

Inuyasha.

It wasn't fair. He meant the world to her. He knew it, too. How come life had to be this way. Why did she have to meet that damn hanyou? Why did everything have to spiral down so fast. Every day she wakes up worrying about weather he was going to die or not.

And he didn't give a damn about her...

It was all a lie. Every single word they ever spoke to eachother, all a lie. All one big show put on for the critics to laugh and stare until thier eyes bled and she just died a little more on the inside.

And it hurt.

Why did she put herself through this torture?

She hated him so. She wished to kill him. She wished to watch his golden eyes fade to a dim bronze and glaze over. She wished to see his blood spill onto the ground every time she heard his whisper the words that felll dead to the ground... everytime she heard him say "I love you."

She hated him in every way a girl could hate some one like him.

Yet she loved him in so many ways,

She would die for him.

-Everytime we lie awake After every hit we take-

So many nights she had lay awake in bed. She had cried. She had even turned to over dosing one night, and it was all for him. All for Inuyasha. Her hazel and grey speckled eyes were flooded with deep emotion that raged on. And would continue on, as long as she loved him.

And yes, everyone knew it. Inuyasha was aggresive by nature. All thoes damn nights she just kept pressing on saying it wasn't his fault, that he couldn't control it. Everytime he pushed her down. Everytime he shoved her aside. Everytime he threw her across the room when he was angry, it left a damn scar. She would look at that bruise every night, and smile...

Smile because it meant he loved her...

In some twisted way it made sense to her...

It didn't.

Day after day, week after week shard after shard, he wasn't the only one. She knew how to lash back too. She would 'osuwari' him to all the way to America if she could. They had an abusive relationship. It was true. But hell, it was love. He would hit her. She would Osuwari him for until he bled at the drop of a dime. All he had to do was steal a glance at Kikyou, and it was Osuwari. Kagome knew it was wrong. Inuyasha knew it was wrong to hurt her.

Oh how she hated him...

But hell she loved him...

She admired every one of his passionate kisses. The way he held her when she was crying...

Over him.

Why?

"Why Inuyasha? Why do I have to love you?"

-Every feeling that I get But I haven't missed you yet-

She remember way back. A long time ago when Kagome was just fifteen. She and Inuyasha were in a fight. He said to her,

"Why do you hate me, Kagome?" The look in his eyes made her sick. That love that she knew she could never have. She could never have it because she wouldn't allow herself to...

She wouldn't allow herself to get hurt...

But that just wasn't the case...

She was hurt in many more ways than she thought possible.

It hurt to breathe...

It hurt to breathe...

"Why do I hate you Inuyasha?" She felt tears of rage sting at her eyes.

Why do I hate you?

(Kagome POV)

Because you took my heart away from me. You made me happy. You painted my world with rainbows. You made me smile, even when I didn't want to. I broke you, Inuyasha. I made you soft...

Don't you go soft on me, Inuyasha.

Don't you go soft on me.

But then in that moment, when I saw you and Kikyou embrace, and I ran home. I realized I loved you. In that moment I realized it was a lie and that it never could be.

No matter how much we said we loved eachother...

So why has it worked so long?

Sango tell me it's an unhealthy relationship. That I should run and never look back. I should seal off the well and stay home. But I know that. I know it with all my heart. I know how unhappy we are...

Yet I'm so happy...

Why is it that when your sick...

I don't even give a damn...

-Every roommate kept awake By every sigh and scream we make All the feelings that I get-

Some times Miroku and Sango had to leave us alone when our love became to intesnse in the hut. With every scream. With every ounce of pleasure I recieved, I only hated you more. Yet I smiled and said I loved you. We looked into eachothers eyes. The bliss went on. The echo's of pleasure...

And I could only hate you more...

Why do I hate you Inuyasha?

Sometimes Miroku and Sango would get so fed up they had to leave. The saw how violent we had become. We almost lost them one day. I was in a fit of rage and So was he.

Screaming...

Screaming...

Screaming...

Rage...

I have a scar on my face from that day...

I Osuwari'ed him so much that day he was bed ridden for weeks.

"I love you, Inuyasha..."

And no one will have you but me.

You can call me Possesive, Sadistic, Cruel... But I'm not...

I'm in hate...

I'm in love...

As much as I have softened you, Inuyasha, you have hardened me...

You've twisted me, Inuyasha....

And you ask why I hate you...

-But I still don't miss you yet Only when I stop to think about it-

You know Inuyasha, no matter how much you consume me. No matter how much you're on my mind. NO matter how many nights I spend crying over you...

I don't miss you.

I spend days making myself miss you, I just can't lie to myself anymore...

Infact I hope you die inbattle with Naraku...

I smile, my lips part, "I love you, Inuyasha..."

You can call me Possesive, Sadistic, Cruel... But I'm not...

I'm in hate...

I'm in love...

There's an empty place inside of me. Only you can fill that space Inyasha. You broke me. You took my Mary Jane's and broke off the heels. You shredded my skirts. You slashed my sleeves...

All in a fit of rage...

You were only like that after we were together, Inuyasha...

You may have killed me, but I know it, and I can't deny it.

I killed you too...

My heart hurts. i saw you cry one day. I looked up into a tree and there you were You may have not think I saw it, but it was real. It dropped to the ground staining the dirt floor forever. I heard you mummble words only I knew...

"End it now..."

Why didn't I miss you...

YOu came back though...

You didn't go through with it. you didn't kill yourself...

Because I love you, and you love me...

And then you hurt me. You threw me onto a tree. I screamed...

And I saw the tears come.

The hanyou was crying...

Over me...

Why do I love you Inuyasha...

No...

Why do I hate you, Inuyasha?

-I hate everything about you Why do I love you I hate everything about you Why do I love you-

A sadistic, creul, heartless smile grazes my deadend features.

How alive we used to be, Inuyasha. How we used to smile...

And we still do...

But it's not real, Inuyasha. Don't act like it is. You know it's not. You're empty. I killed you. I purged you of your happiness. I killed your love of Kikyou with a few sweet words, and tender kisses. I made your life hell...

And you did the same thing to me...

I hate you...

I hate you...

I hate you...

I pull my kness to my chest and start to rock back and forth, whispering words of desparation.

I hate you...

I hate you...

I hate you...

I hate you...

You painted my rainbows black and gray. You took smiles and made them yours. My world was nothing but a shade of gray...

I did the same to you...

Why do I love you, Inuyasha?

No...

Why do I hate you, Inuyasha?

-Every time we lie awake After every hit we take Every feeling that I get But I haven't missed you yet Only when I stop to think about it-

You smack me. I cry as my cheeks reddens. You smack me again. You will not have me cry. You will set me straight...

You smack me once more...

The tears stop.

You are happy...

Why do I hate you, Inuyasha?

I yell at you. I scream at you. I call you a worthless Hanyou. I yell you are the scum of this earth, I yell you made this way. You turned me into this monster. I call him halfbreed...

The words tear him like paper...

I don't know what made me do this...

Why do I hate you, Inuyasha?

-I hate everything about you Why do I love you I hate everything about you Why do I love you-

I hate everything you stand for...

I hate what I have made you...

I hate that amongst all the abuse we take...

I hate that I still love you...

The cold bites at my skin, sending chills up my spine. This skirt was not made for winds like this. But that's my fault, ne? I cut my skirt just to show off more skin. Maybe you'll take a second glance at me.

Call me a whore...

You've never been in hate...

You've never been in love....

-Only when I stop to think about you I know Only when you stop to think about me Do you know-

Did you know that I hated you to the point of purging myself. I hate you so much that I would starve myself, I would purge myself just so you would take one damn look at me...

You made me this way...

Do you know how much I love you?

At this very cliff, one day we were in a fight... You told me to jump off. You told me no one would care...

I have never laughed so much in my life...

It was an empty hollow laugh that only a dead soul could make...

I am no miko...

I am not pure...

I am an intoxicated whore thanks to him...

Miroku is even shamed of me...

I can't help but hold back tears every time I see the look Miroku gives me... He's dissapointed in me...

I'm dissapointed in myself...

Why do I hate you Inuyasha?

-I hate everything about you Why do I love you You hate everything about me Why do you love me-

I hate you so much...

I hate your secret missions off to Kikyou, just so you can get a quick fuck with the clay pot leave and then and go on to your other whore...

Don't think I don't see you, Inuyasha...

I hate so much it hurts to wake up in the morings...

I hate the way you hurt me. I hate it when you hit me. I hate it when you call me a worthless human. I hate it when you say you only love me because of my resmeblance to Kikyou...

But I love you...

You hate me Inuyasha....

You hate me so much. You hate my leaving off with the other men of the village we pass by. You hate how you've molded me. You hate how you've broken me. You hate how you've made me bleed, cry, and want to die. You hate how you've killed my soul. You hate how you've made me think I'm worthless....

You hate how I scream at you...

You haet how I call you a worthless hanyou...

Yet you love me, so...

Your voice echo's in my head...

"Why do you hate my Kagome?"

-I hate You hate I hate You love me-

Screaming...

bliss...

Screaming...

rage...

I hate you Inuyasha...

"I love you, Kagome..."

You hurt me... I hurt you. We don't care if we kill eachother...

We're already dead...

and I made you this way...

I get up to leave back to camp. My short skirt is covered in mud. The clouds cover the sun created a blue and grey hue over the raging water.

Why do I hate you, Inuyasha?

I turn around once more to look back at the waters.

"I don't hate you, Inuyasha." I say bitterly, "I hate only myself..."

-I hate everything about you Why do I love you-


End file.
